A rose is a rose… and I think it is a symbol of all the things we should stop and appreciate. You know…”Stop and smell the roses” and all that stuff. For me it’s “stop and photograph the roses”…I did this on the way out to hustling my daughter to karate class, after loading the walker in the car that my husband is temporarily using and running back to the house and getting the heart pillow that he needs to put under the seatbelt. Run, run, run… classes, appointments, obligations, schedules.
But as I was rushing by I saw this rose in my front yard flowerbed and I stopped short. I love raindrops on roses! It’s one of my favorite things… (I hear a tune in my head right now…) So I stop, and take the time to take a few photos, and just take a breath. Enjoy the rose. Enjoy the right now moment.
Then I stop and take account of all the beautiful things in my life. There is a lot of stress happening right now in my life. But all the stress is caused by worthwhile people in my life. My husband had a heart attack. Did that cause us stress? Well, um…YA! But he survived, and is recovering well. Is that something to appreciate? Is he worth all the trouble? Well, um… YA! He is worth every effort I put towards him. Every single one times 10!
My family? Well, they have certainly given me a lot to appreciate, as of late. How they pulled together during the heart attack crisis…kept my business and my life intact.
And then there is The ‘Bug. Our little soon to be fully adopted Rosebug. She was heroically great when we were in the hospital, but now that we are home and the routine is starting to normalize a bit, she is letting her hair down and somehow feels safe enough to act out. And, as she does with everything, she is acting out with enthusiasm and gusto. No halfway little temper tantrums here! Nope, she is either screaming at the top of her lungs how much she hates me, and how mean I am, while she simultaneously kicks the wall and throws things, or she is the perfect, insightful, bright, sensitive, hard working young lady that we are all really beginning to appreciate. Is she worth the effort? I would have to say….yes. Most certainly. Counting those freckles, when I am not furious…
And then there is TK. My preschool. My business. My livelihood. My passion! Ashleigh, Blythe and Nick are taking care of it when I can’t. And I haven’t been able to do “all of it” in awhile. Not since I started homeschooling The ‘Bug. And now I’m homeschooling and taking care of Bob.
Ashleigh is the keystone of that team. Ashleigh is a strong, motivated young lady, who knows exactly what it takes to run this business, including the organizing, the teaching, the meal preparation, and even the bookwork. Yes, it’s true, she can do it all. What is more, she is the only other one besides myself who is really effective with The ‘Bug when it comes to homeschooling her. She is more than my right hand. She is more than my girl Friday. She is more than just a friend. She is family. And, as of late, she is the keystone to my sanity.
Ashleigh is leaving! O.M.G. Talk about stress! But her husband, Eddy, as bright, motivated and talented as he is, can’t find good employment here in California. And I guess I can’t blame them. They are tired of the four of them (husband, wife, two kids) sharing one small bedroom, living in a mobile home with Ashleigh’s mom, sister and cousin. But with the incredibly high cost of living in California, it’s nearly impossible for them to get a place of their own. They have been trying to stay here, but they simply can’t. Eddy wants to support his family. They want a place of their own. I guess I can’t blame them for that. And he was offered a job in Florida, working with his brother that he feels is an opportunity he can’t pass up.
But, but, but … Ash is leaving?!?!?!?!?! How, exactly, am I supposed to feel about that? I cried for two and a half days, off and on after she told me…how mature, right? Jeesh. I honestly think it was more of a “straw in the camel’s already over-stressed back” kind of reaction.
My first thought was panic. I have become so dependent on her as of late. In my first knee jerk response I thought, dramatically “I can’t do it! I can’t carry on my business without her! I’ll have to close TK!” When I sobbed my concerns to my husband his attitude was a calm…
“Why not? You’ve done it before!?!” he said to me. Simple words. Powerful words. They depicted the faith he has in me.
And, really, I suppose, it’s true. I can do it. I have done it. I am the one who started this place in the first place. It is my methods, my curriculum, my systems that Ashleigh uses to run TK. It is my dream, my passion of helping and teaching children that Ashleigh has learned from me. It surprises me when I hear me coming out of her mouth. She is my mini-me, I guess.
But Bob is right. I can do it without her. It is just going to take some major adjustments. (And I am going to miss her so DAMN much!) She isn’t leaving until the summer, thank God. And sometime between now and the next school year The’Bug is going to have to learn how to do her homeschool work a bit more independently. Because in the mornings I am going to have to work with TK. I can help her during nap time, but I’m giving the mornings back to TK.
And I’m not doing it alone. Blythe and Nick will still be here. And Blythe is blossoming! I have been so impressed with her as of late (not that I haven’t always been impressed…I’ve just noticed lately that she is putting more and more effort into excelling at what she already does well). Her art projects rock. She takes the initiative to look for unique creative opportunities for the kids, and collect the materials for them. Then she watches over the kids while they create, and cleans up after them when they are done! She is the complete art teacher!
Her newfound interest in cooking and trying new things to make is really fun! And tasty! And her efforts to keep TK organized have not gone unnoticed. I think Blythe and I will make a great team. So long as my half of the team keeps up with the demands of the job.
And Nick. Nick is my steady-Eddy (sorry Eddy♥). When he is needed, he steps up to the plate. He is the best “outdoor supervisor” TK has (except maybe me, lol). And some of the meals he creates are pretty fun, too! Like blue applesauce and shepherd’s pie! And turkey wraps and of course the best quesadillas ever! Yummy! The kids love it when he lets them help cook. And I love that my son is working wth me.
Yes, I think TK will survive the loss of its current keystone. We will carry on…
But I’m still gonna cry. It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to!
But wait, wait…I’m supposed to looking at roses, not crying at my own party!
Bob is alive
The ‘Bug is doing better every day…well maybe every other day…lol
My entire family, blood family and chosen family, makes me proud to call them my family.
TK is forever…
What are some of your roses?